COCK!

PENIS ENVY

[google a cock img and imagine it here]

The Brits show some of the craziest documentaries, documentaries like Penis Envy.  This is 3 x 40 min episodes of interviews with some of the saddest most pathetic guys on the face of the planet.  There truly is no better freude than schadenfreude.  If you would like to pity people sadder than Honey Boo Boo child, this might be the show for you.

So, episode one is about penis enlargement; it follows a young psych major who is getting his ligament cut, and will then attach weights to his dick for 6+ months 8+ hours a day to lengthen before he can go back for the girth surgery, also a guy who has injected so much silicone into his dick and balls that they become bigger than a bowling ball, a guy with botched penis enlargement, and a guy that runs a penis enlargement website.  I’m not sure why anyone would pay $50/month to watch flash videos of some creepy gay dude demonstrated glorified masturbation techniques but to each his own…

Episode two is weird.  A whole episode following John Wayne Bobbit.  His “rise and fall” story i guess.  It feels completely out of place in the middle of this series.  It seems they’d no other place to put it.

Episode three is all about “the world’s biggest”, also the guys behind the cock, and more importantly society’s fascination with big cock and cock in general.  So much WTF.  So many man whores complaining that they are more than just a gigantic schlong, as they show off their junk for the television cameras…

If you’re searching for this one be sure to include ch4 and mvgroup as terms.  otherwise you will find nothing but porn.

Happy eid.

Missed Connection: Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule

I don’t like weed.  It makes me feel tired, stupid and paranoid; basically how I feel sober.  Why do people go to great lengths to reach a state that I find myself in nearly all day…everyday?

Neblackska

No, wait. That isn’t right.

Surprisingly, I do get a kick out of stoner-media and nothing is more stoned than the works of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!  fame.  The second season of the bizarre spin-off, Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule [starring John C. Reilly] premiered on Adult Swim back in March and I’m catching up from season one as I type this.  Here’s a screenshot of me watching from my live webcam feed:

snoop dogg

I dress well.  Damn well.

In S01E01, the befuddled Dr. Brule presents us with a schizophrenic treatise on Food.  His attempt to explain its importance is interrupted by several persons including the doppleganger of a woman I used to work with who happens to share the same first name:

susan brule

Don’t I know you from somewhere, Susan?

Dr. Brule also introduced me to an all new “Food Triangle” that I will avoid living by:

food triangle

Nachos are good though.

 The show ranges from lol funny to uncomfortably-cackling-whilst-hoping-the-neighbors-don’t-find-my-joker-toxin-infused-corpse funny.  Be warned.  It’s not for everyone.

joker toxin victim

“Love that Joker!”