Untold History of the United States

We’re all watching Homeland and The Walking Dead. But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m all about letting you, dear reader, know about interesting things you haven’t seen or heard of, yet.

Oliver Stone’s new project, The Untold History of the United States, is a ten hour long documentary about the history of these United States.  It’s not something that pretends to be anything else, and, that’s what i like most.  Expect to sit and hear Mr. Stone narrate over old black and white video and photos.  It’s kind of like how PBS or History channel used to be, in the before time long long ago.  It will only be as exciting as a great lecture on history can be, which I find extremely stimulating.

There is no 3D dinosaur killing robots.  No actors doing historical reenactment to make history more exciting.  If the story of the world being told by an old man in a way that makes people appear to be a little bit more complicated than two dimensional cardboard cutouts cannot hold your attention, then you are what is wrong with the world.

taco, out.

 

EDIT (11-22-12)

Some criticism of the series has surfaced.  I guess we can’t expect too much from the maker of such historically perfeck films as JFK or Natural Born Killers.  I’m still trying to watch the whole series anyway.  i like it.  noone seems to be capping and releasing it much but that’s sure to change.  i mean, they gotta release it on DVD and then that’s bound to get ripped, amiright? hope so…

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COCK!

PENIS ENVY

[google a cock img and imagine it here]

The Brits show some of the craziest documentaries, documentaries like Penis Envy.  This is 3 x 40 min episodes of interviews with some of the saddest most pathetic guys on the face of the planet.  There truly is no better freude than schadenfreude.  If you would like to pity people sadder than Honey Boo Boo child, this might be the show for you.

So, episode one is about penis enlargement; it follows a young psych major who is getting his ligament cut, and will then attach weights to his dick for 6+ months 8+ hours a day to lengthen before he can go back for the girth surgery, also a guy who has injected so much silicone into his dick and balls that they become bigger than a bowling ball, a guy with botched penis enlargement, and a guy that runs a penis enlargement website.  I’m not sure why anyone would pay $50/month to watch flash videos of some creepy gay dude demonstrated glorified masturbation techniques but to each his own…

Episode two is weird.  A whole episode following John Wayne Bobbit.  His “rise and fall” story i guess.  It feels completely out of place in the middle of this series.  It seems they’d no other place to put it.

Episode three is all about “the world’s biggest”, also the guys behind the cock, and more importantly society’s fascination with big cock and cock in general.  So much WTF.  So many man whores complaining that they are more than just a gigantic schlong, as they show off their junk for the television cameras…

If you’re searching for this one be sure to include ch4 and mvgroup as terms.  otherwise you will find nothing but porn.

Happy eid.

Incoming: Sci-Fi series ‘Incursion’ on Starz

Almost Perfection.

First: Battlestar Galactica (the 2004-09 remake) has to be the best show of the century so far.  I know, you thought I was going to say it was Viva Laughlin.  That was the best show of the Millenium!

But seriously, strike the sing-song, so-so ending BSG had due to Ronald D. Moore’s sudden love of giant mysteries and Bob Dillon (as opposed to character-driven stories) in the big season three reveal, and you have a science fiction work of art that diverges so far from the original material, you might as well call it something else.  I’m thinking “Battlecar Orgasmatica,” but when am I not?  As the final notes of Bear McCreary’s Dillon-tribute, “All Along the Watchtower” faded and the end-credits wrapped, TV-land was left with very few options for good sci-fi.  If you could even call it that.

Skip to 1:12.  This song still makes me want to shoot a Cylon in the face.  Love it.

To illustrate, here are the first five “sci-fi” series since 2009 that pop into my head: Chuck, Terminator: Sarah Conner Chronicles, Kings, Fringe and Dollhouse.  Fringe is the only show that can lay claim to a spot on the Fall 2012 schedule and it’s only going to be 13 wrap up episodes to keep me from doing something insane with outrage.

Chuck was barely sci-fi, and mostly terrible.  Yet I watched the entire first season due to unemployment.  Terminator had its moments, but sort of forgot what it was supposed to be doing mid-second season and was terminated.  Kings was kinda cool, I gotta give it to NBC on this one.  I adore Ian McShane.  I would have stuck around for another season or two of that.

Cheers, mate.

Dollhouse made it to the ripe age of 27 episodes, but only held my interest for two of them.  I’m formulating an idea here.

These shows, save the one that is still on the air, were small-idea Sci-Fi.  Their scope was limited to the predicament of whatever zany phenomena or interpersonal conflict that was in the script for the week.  Sure, there was a big idea behind every one of them, but who cares, it never attempted development of said idea!  It was all: “Chuck’s gonna wear a tuxedo, learn Kung Fu from a computer AND get promoted to Best Buy manager!  Tune in!”

Fringe on the other hand managed to weave the characters into a big idea that was given legs and developed over several seasons.  The characters literally walk to other realities like it’s nothing, explore theories of “self” and consciousness through interaction with parallel universe dopplegangers and manages to present a love story that I can care about.

Battlestar Galactica proposed an entire mythos that ties directly into humanity’s origin story and did it well…with robots…in SPACE!.   Now THAT’S some quality sci-fi!

At best, I think the Sci-Fi genre needs to seek answers to the big questions, and not get too bogged down with  fantasy/supernatural as well as offer predictions of what life’s going to be like in the future, or what it could be.

Anything less should be cancelled, or left in a Hollywood notebook.

Now that Fringe is 13 hours away from completion sometime in 2013, what will be the next big-idea Sci-Fi show?  Is it Falling Sky?  I have the entire first season, but I’ve never made it through an episode without nodding out (admittedly, I’ve been watching them just before bed, so it’s not boredom zonking me out…I think.)

Maybe Incursion.  There’s not much to say about this series other than what Variety released  on Wednesday:

“Incursion” comes as part of Starz’s overall deal with “Spartacus” creator Steven S. DeKnight. Project, which is a sci-fi action-thriller that centers around soldiers battling an alien race on exotic planets, comes after the announcement that “Spartacus” will be shuttered following its upcoming third season. Decision to end the show was made by the pay cabler in tandem with DeKnight.

via Variety.

To Timeslide or not to Timeslide?

I’ve got one counter left on my time-travel diskette.  If I use it now to watch fresh episodes of Fringe this fall, I’ll miss out on Breaking Bad premiering in July.  Hmmm.  An impossible decision if I’ve had one to make…  The best thing to do really is to max out the time-travel account, get to the end of recorded humanity and download all the good shows…just the shows.  How do I get back then?

GoThrones: Dinklage on fans and success of show

“Just kidding. I’m fine!”

Yay!

Tyrion isn’t dead and just got 3X more awesome with facial scarring [looks good on him!]  Now that the show’s second season is over, Peter Dinklage has taken the opportunity to make a statement.  He’s worried about fans’ inflated expectations getting in the way of a smart story.  Is he thinking too much or thinking just enough?  Credit to  Geoff Boucher, over on newsok.com.

Read more after the jump!

Bonus Round:

Oh, hey.  Here’s a question for you – Which is higher: the average viewer-share GoT, season 2 got per episode, or the average number of illegal downloads per episode?   The answer doesn’t surprise me.  It was the most downloaded show of the season.  Now only if HBO could monetize direct digital downloads!  Oh wait, they totally can but won’t.  Have fun losing market share, HBO, or simply get with the program and pioneer a direct digital download platform and ditch your antiquated premium-only strategy.  It ain’t working anymore.

Technology outpaced you over a decade ago.

Stop it!  Or not, whatever.

Game of Thrones s02e08 – “The Prince of Winterfell”

This is the most torrent-worthy show at the moment.  Besides AMC’s Mad Men, it’s really the only thing on television worth watching on Sunday night [especially since Check it out! With Dr. Steve Brule S02 ended back in April.]

All the dramatic elements are being put into place for the season finale, which I believe is only three weeks away.  I’m still not sure how everything that is supposed to happen (from the books) is going to happen in the series.  I heard second-hand that a lot of characters are about to be killed off; but that could just be a dirty lie spread by communists.  I’ve only gotten through the prologue of the audiobook version of A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire) by George R.R. Martin, so I can neither confirm nor deny the impending doom, but here are the three characters I hope make it through for one simple reason:

Three of the best characters from Game of Thrones

They can FUCKING read!

Of all the characters in the show, these have proven time and again to be the most resourceful and all have begun to read the writing on the wall:  Something badder than bad is coming; either for them personally or for all of Westeros!  The Khaleesi would have been on my list, but she’s been nothing but “Where are my DRAGONS?” for the majority of the season.

hungry khaleesi

M’lady, I do believe you just ate them.

And don’t get me started on Jon Snow; who’s been playing Icy-Weener with Ygritte, the red-headed wildling.  NOTHING BUT THIS HAS HAPPENED IN THE NORTH:

ygritte and jon snow

Best line of the season: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”

and

ygritte and jon snow

“You still know nothing AND DO YOU MIND GETTING YOUR BONER AWAY FROM ME, JON SNOW?”

If you are not watching this show…you are so lame.